Miss Twist's Weblog

Two pages of writing tonight. All on my healing work but the most journalling I’ve done willingly in some years.

At this point I’m getting the groundwork out of the way. The basics of what I’m aiming for, what I’m already doing, and what’s wrong in general.

So what am I aiming for?

I’m looking at this holistically in the sense the body and mind are connected via energies and that the problems in my mind are causing or aggravating problems within my body which is messing up the flow of energies through my body such as messing with my chakra points. I’m aiming to heal myself, properly rather than just bury the problems deeper within myself. This will be a long, hard working I know.

What are the problems?

A number of issues relating to self image, other people, sexual relations, and childhood issues to start with my mind. Physically I have a low auto-immune system, asthma, numerous general getting old issues with bones,  muscles and joints, weight, digestive-come-stomach problems and cystic ovaries.

What am I doing about them so far?

Been seeing a therapist though have discontinued that for the time being and am currently working through women who run with wolves. I’m seeing a doctor regarding some of the more severe physical problems whilst exploring other options.

What I am looking at adding to this…

A magical aid. My inner child needs healing and the past can not be undone so I need to face it. I’ll be doing this using a combination of normal cognitive therapies, energy manipulations and straight out magic. I am beginning now to explore what I can do and what I want to do. Working it all into something coherant will come slightly later as I need to be in a safe, stable environment to do this and between work being up in the air and moving being no better I am very much not in that position right now.

In early January I posted this

This is the mid year redux post in which I laugh at myself for not having even remotely done what I was planning.Lemme see… Before e start, in my defence, this year has been a complete write off so far.

Monthly Tarot - Complete fail however I have been using my decks more and more so I am getting more familiar with it and thanks to Alan Moore’s Promethea I’m enthused to really get in and study them.

Inner Temple of Witchcraft – FAIL

Meditation - Still with the leg problems but have been doing the dd bit of yoga

Devotions - Were going quite well to my little crisis of faith

So what have I been doing?

Well other than a minor melt down, my own fault now that I think about it, I did call upon Violet Grimm, I’ve been… having  a minor melt down.

Someone might want to grab that there leash of mine...

At the moment I’m delving further into the tarot, looking at some healing stuff for my minor melt down (not so minor really) and am doing some aromatherapy study. I’m still daydreaming about the personal divination deck and focussing mostly on my art.

That’s it really, nothing much to see here.

So I was just answering a reply on my blog when it hit me: I have been practicing magic in one form or another for 10 fucking years around December this year.
10 Freaking years.

I’m certainly no community elder but that’s nothign to sneeze at. I then thought some more and laughed at myself because all I could think is that 10 years of this shit and I STILL have no freaking clue. Ah well, that’s what keeps it fun I suppose.

So the world’s been pretty depressing lately. It’s also been a little scary at times.

My foundations have been rocked to the core as my family falls apart, my relationship ended but didn’t at the same time, I’ve moved house and believe me that was a saga of epic proportions, but that’s not the point of this.

The point is through it all people I have come to count on were there. People who I never thought to count on were there. And they’ve very much been a source of strength and delight.

I don’t ever think I could explain how grateful I am to you guys who have stood by me throughout the past few months, and this last few weeks in particular. You’ve made things so much better just by being.

Thank you.

Right to left - Nikki (was sick), Me (was very tired from a rather stressful move), Kwana (was part of the conspiracy), and Jaz (was our Host)

Regular posting will return asap. As soon as my computer’s set back up.

PS> any future surprise birthday parties will be met with violence. So very very much violence.

Frustrated, frustrated, frustrated…

Gah! Brains!! What’s going on with me.

Now that the cat’s out of the bag with all my close friends I’ll let it out in the general world. My relationship with Sean is over.We’re still friends, we’re still living together, we’ll probably still fuck for some years to come once there’s a little distance between us, but the actual relationship, joined at the hip crap, is gone. We’re in separate rooms which is sheer bliss. I have ME space that I can keep tidy.

I’m run down at the moment. Really tired all the time. I’m hoping it’s just my iron levels going nuts, they do that once in a while and it usually lasts a week to a fortnight. I don’t want to be sick or sinking into another depression. I don’t think it’s depression though I’m mentally in a pretty good place.

I’m pissing off to QLD for a wedding in May. 5 days in Townsville for that followed by 5 in Cairns with Doktor Bedlam (I should add his blog to my list). I can’t wait!

Also looking for another job. I do this periodically, because my job is annoying.

Magically I’m active but not at the moment. I’ve started journaling regularly and my mind’s turning various things over and over and tweaking and playing with ideas. Feeling so tired though, so I’m not doing much other than lighting a candle with my thoughts going to the people caught in Victoria’s horrible fires. Once I’ve moved house and settled into it all I’m going to start with guided meditations.

My curiosity regarding drugs, in particular the milder hallucinogens, is growing and I’m putting serious thought to talking to a few friends and trying them in a controlled environment. I do however have some interesting experiments to try with mind altering states that don’t involve stimulants like hallucinogens so I’m testing those out first. There’s a lot I want to do but living with Sean and, soon, the Moffat’s I’m still going to have to play it safe. *Sigh*

So that’s where I’m at. Tired, run down, over worked and moving forward with pig headed determination. Looking forward to Nat’s birthday party tonight.

I got into uni.

Distance education.

Bachelors of Business Management majoring in Accounting.

Well fuck me, miracles do happen.

I’m not, really.

Life won teh argument and I’m running around like a mad thing. Kismet and Wolfhound quit their jobs with our collective work place. Kismet is already off at ehr new job and loving it and Wolfhound and I are going spare getting eberything ready for when he leaves as well. Very stressful but we;re getting there.

My ex-housemate Jadith was down last fortnight and we had a gathering for eand then the night after had my friend Jaz’s birthday party and much alcohol was imbibed by quite a few people. I was sober at both btu had a ball. It was a great and very relaxing weekend. Jaz and Egofreaky were round for dinner this Saturday just past and i spent a lot of time sewing with Tycho, I need to get to work on several important projects but…

Tonight I finish my pants because…

I have a job interview tomorrow!

I’m actually not looking for work but on Friday Jaz sent me a job she found online that she said was my “dream job”. She was right! The job is exactly what I want. So on Sunday I edited my CV, got Kismet and my Dad (sad I know but he’s awesoem with official type documets) to look at it. I sent it off with a short cover letter this morning at 8am.

9:30 rocks around and hte recruiter calls me and asks me to do an interview tomorrow afternoon! Huzzah!!

I’m pretty excited about this. I wasn’t looking but the job is just too good to be true and I certainly can’t complain about the salary I’ll be on if I can land it.