Miss Twist's Weblog

So, after month’s of fighting with myself, I have finally given up and admitted it. I want to move back to Perth for a variety of reasons. Namely school and financial reasons but there are a few other things in there as well.

So I’m saying goodbye to Melbourne some time next year…

I’m not really sure what to say. I know it’s the right thing to do but at the same time it’s killing me.

Melbourne isn’t the place I think of as home, that implies I have a say in it.

Melbourne claimed me. I belong to it. And I’m walking away…

So I’m house hunting at the moment.

This started on Friday when on the way out to see the most lovely Persephone we stopped and grabbed a list of rentals in her area. We, being Frater Victatio and I, were laden down with tasty things and heading over to Persephone’s for fun and talking.We do this most Friday’s and it is much much MUCH fun.

Sitting with he and Persephone looking through the list enthused me more than anything has and I finally started actually being less vague and more serious about it all. So I picked two places to check out this morning. Created a Sigil for the one of the two I really liked and went off to dance the night away…

Well sigil got dance magic, sex magic (oh dear lords that was FUN) and a whole lot of intent magic thrown into it. Today, when inspecting the place, I sigil bombed it as I A) have no ethical qulams about doing so and B) loved it. By sigil bombing I mean that I dropped sigils by tracing them onto surfaces in every room as well as the front and back door. And yet at the far end of it I don’t think it’ll work.

The place is too expensive for me on my own as much as I love it (And oh my gods I DO love it, it’s gorgeous) and I think that knowledge is going to be my undoing. I’ve lined up a few other places out that way I want to look at. I like the area a lot, it feels nice. These other places are all within affordable range without a housemate and super affordable with one (Under $100 a week each).

Sooooo plans… I’m going to create a new sigil with a slighlty different intent that is basically bring me what I need (2 bedroom house, laundry facilities, with garden or balcony, sunlight and cat safe in the Reservoir area) sigil and do some major work towards this.

I’m enthused so I’m feeding that momentum while I have it.

In early January I posted this

This is the mid year redux post in which I laugh at myself for not having even remotely done what I was planning.Lemme see… Before e start, in my defence, this year has been a complete write off so far.

Monthly Tarot - Complete fail however I have been using my decks more and more so I am getting more familiar with it and thanks to Alan Moore’s Promethea I’m enthused to really get in and study them.

Inner Temple of Witchcraft – FAIL

Meditation - Still with the leg problems but have been doing the dd bit of yoga

Devotions - Were going quite well to my little crisis of faith

So what have I been doing?

Well other than a minor melt down, my own fault now that I think about it, I did call upon Violet Grimm, I’ve been… having  a minor melt down.

Someone might want to grab that there leash of mine...

At the moment I’m delving further into the tarot, looking at some healing stuff for my minor melt down (not so minor really) and am doing some aromatherapy study. I’m still daydreaming about the personal divination deck and focussing mostly on my art.

That’s it really, nothing much to see here.

Frustrated, frustrated, frustrated…

Gah! Brains!! What’s going on with me.

Now that the cat’s out of the bag with all my close friends I’ll let it out in the general world. My relationship with Sean is over.We’re still friends, we’re still living together, we’ll probably still fuck for some years to come once there’s a little distance between us, but the actual relationship, joined at the hip crap, is gone. We’re in separate rooms which is sheer bliss. I have ME space that I can keep tidy.

I’m run down at the moment. Really tired all the time. I’m hoping it’s just my iron levels going nuts, they do that once in a while and it usually lasts a week to a fortnight. I don’t want to be sick or sinking into another depression. I don’t think it’s depression though I’m mentally in a pretty good place.

I’m pissing off to QLD for a wedding in May. 5 days in Townsville for that followed by 5 in Cairns with Doktor Bedlam (I should add his blog to my list). I can’t wait!

Also looking for another job. I do this periodically, because my job is annoying.

Magically I’m active but not at the moment. I’ve started journaling regularly and my mind’s turning various things over and over and tweaking and playing with ideas. Feeling so tired though, so I’m not doing much other than lighting a candle with my thoughts going to the people caught in Victoria’s horrible fires. Once I’ve moved house and settled into it all I’m going to start with guided meditations.

My curiosity regarding drugs, in particular the milder hallucinogens, is growing and I’m putting serious thought to talking to a few friends and trying them in a controlled environment. I do however have some interesting experiments to try with mind altering states that don’t involve stimulants like hallucinogens so I’m testing those out first. There’s a lot I want to do but living with Sean and, soon, the Moffat’s I’m still going to have to play it safe. *Sigh*

So that’s where I’m at. Tired, run down, over worked and moving forward with pig headed determination. Looking forward to Nat’s birthday party tonight.

I have turned the music off. As I sit here writing, waiting for the lounge room floor of my lovely new apartment to dry, I am listening to the sounds around me. There goes the 2:04 tram, lights favor the main roads traffic and the cars go zipping by, voices of a pair of young men… then briefly nothing. Except a sound I have not heard for at least a year now.

The sound of bird song. Not one or two birds but many. Rainbow Lorikeets for the most part.

I don’t think my partner will ever truly understand why it is that him giving in and letting us have this place means so much to me. Just the sound of birds makes me happy beyond belief. It is peaceful. Here we are on the second level of a two level apartment block, with big balconies on both sides and plenty of natural light. Gone are the days of the lights having to be on in all rooms due to natural light being blocked off by the high rise offices next to our dinky 12 floor inner city apartment building. My windows are open and my home doesn’t smell of car exhaust. And out my front door and down the stairs in a large courtyard the size of a small park that my cat would just LOVE to be allowed out in… see there’s all these moving, flying feather toys down there and he wants to go chase them he tells me whilst sitting at the door with big bright eyes and twitching tail.

I’m relaxed and calm. A bit sore from moving furniture and boxes around for three days (should all be finished tonight with luck) but otherwise content with the world as it stands. We had sandwiches today. Ham and cheese on soft white bread with real butter (a rare treat for me in a household that lives on nutelex). It’s the first normal, home made, not breakfast sandwich I’ve had since I stayed with my Mum 2 years back. Bliss, serious bliss.

There is a spider, a tiny tiny tiny spider, crawling up the wall beside me. He’d be about 4mm long in total from the tip of his front most leg to the tip of his back most. Such beautiful creatures. I love spider’s. Little artisan’s. I’m quite chuffed to have one in my home so soon after moving in. To me their presence has always represented a prosperous household, so all the more reason to cherish this little one’s visit.

I think this all is just a little moment of perfect in my often very imperfect world. I’m going to go stir S from his computer screen where he is trying to rescue the unbacked up contents of a hard drive that crashed over night to help me move furniture, and then maybe find some sock because it’s cold in here (who’d have thought, it’s only winter and all that).

My floor is now dry and my interlude, my little moment of perfect unasked for magic, is over.